How Ecstasy Could End School Shootings
Ecstasy helps humans love each other. Time to use it therapeutically on hotheads.
It’s hard to end mass shootings in America, because we’re not allowed to come up with any solution that involves guns in any way. So we’re hobbled from the start. It’s like we’re being asked to solve one of those crazy logic problems that says: “Using two match sticks, make 10 triangles… but you’re not allowed to touch the match sticks at any time.”
But I do have one idea of how to end — or at least to seriously decrease — mass shootings without (heaven forbid) inconveniencing gun owners in any way, shape or form. Here’s the solution:
Force all haters to undergo talk therapy while under the influence of MDMA, aka Ecstasy. That’s it. Problem solved (or at least seriously dented).
Why? Because the Drug Ecstasy has a long history of promoting pro-social feelings. The drug single-handedly brought about peace, love and understanding in Britain in the 1990s, when E-using folks of every ethnic group happily joined together on the dance floor to celebrate life without regard for racial, social or ethnic distinctions, a unity never witnessed before in the British Isles. That dance floor utopia would still be going on today except that Drug Warriors blamed one single solitary death on E, and used that as an excuse to crack down on the drug. The result: dancers switched from Ecstasy to anger-facilitating drugs such as alcohol and crack cocaine, and concert producers had to hire special forces troops to police their venues.
Yet another “victory” for the Drug War.
Of course, the Drug Warriors failed to notice that the E-related death which inspired their crackdown was caused by the Drug War itself. Why? Because the Drug War suppresses research on substances like Ecstasy, making it impossible to establish guidelines for safe use. Nor did they stop to think that Ecstasy was, in fact, FANTASTICALLY SAFE compared to alcohol, which racked up 5,460 deaths in Great Britain in 2020 alone* — deaths over which the purblind British Drug Warrior never lost a moment of sleep, let alone launched a nationwide campaign to demonize alcohol.
So the good news is that Ecstasy could drastically decrease mass shootings if we were to use it therapeutically to treat angry people.
The bad news is that America is unlikely to hear this penny drop for many decades to come. Why not? Because guns are not the only thing that Americans are hung up about. They’re hung up about the politically created scapegoat called “drugs” as well, unable to wrap their minds around the fact that the substances we dogmatically demonize today could actually be used for the good of a hate-filled humanity, if not to save us from nuclear annihilation, then at least to render mass shootings fewer and farther between.
Until America ends its illogical policy of substance demonization, Americans will remain as confused about mass shootings “as the Egyptians in their fog” as Shakespeare says, vainly trying to think of solutions to this problem that do not involve either guns OR drugs… a self-created dilemma that makes the above-mentioned matchstick problem sound solvable by comparison.
Quotes from the Ecstasy-fueled rave scene:
“It was the first time that black-and-white people had integrated on a level… and everybody was one.” — DJ Ray Keith.
“It was black and white, Asian, Chinese, all up in one building,” — MC GQ.
“Everyone’s loving each other, man, they’re not hating.” — DJ Mampi Swift.